4 Strategies to Deal with Conflict (Healthily) in a Distributed Workforce
By Kate Jones
Conflict has always been a part of the workplace, a reality that naturally arises when different people with unique perspectives come together to work on a common goal. As we’ve transitioned to a more distributed world, these conflicts are surfacing in new ways, and lack of face-to-face dialogue has made it more challenging to ease these tensions healthily and productively, leading to conflicts that escalate quickly and erode trust and productivity.
Defining Conflict
For most people, conflict is usually associated with words and emotions like frustration, fear, disagreement and pain. Conflict’s truest definition in the workplace, though, is passionate, unfiltered debate around issues of importance to the team, and it’s a condition in which people’s concerns - the things they care about - appear to be incompatible.
In this context, conflict is actually good for a team - up to a certain point. The ideal “sweet spot” for conflict is where the team is having every bit of constructive conflict possible, without stepping over the line into territory that is destructive (defined by “mean spirited personal attacks”). When teams operate within this sweet spot, creativity can flourish from healthy debate, allowing individuals and groups to innovate and grow.
Impacts of conflict in a distributed environment
When conflict arises in a distributed team, however, it’s more likely to escalate into “destructive” territory. When people lack information — when they are uncertain about why someone disagreed with them and don’t have the context face-to-face interaction provides — they are much more likely to take it personally, which can distract them from the ability to do their work. People are also more likely to be uninhibited in the virtual space, which means responses will be more emotional and aggressive and conflicts are more likely to escalate than with teams who share the same physical location.
Two conflict types and their impact in a distributed environment
There are two types of conflict that arise most frequently - relationship and task. Each has their own implications for a distributed team.
Relationship conflict is a conflict resulting from either personality clashes or negative emotional interactions between two or more people. It is often difficult to resolve and can lead to avoidance instead of an honest effort to work things out. Thankfully, this type of conflict doesn’t occur as often in a distributed environment because virtual team members are typically more focused on their work and less on interpersonal issues and office politics (no water cooler means no gossiping).
Task conflict is conflict based purely on disagreements related to tasks, or activities, on a team. It’s more straightforward to resolve and can lead to better ways of doing things. It’s often healthy for structural and organizational reasons, builds trust, and can lead to new and better outcomes. However, in a distributed work environment where there is less face-to-face contact (which helps to accelerate empathy) task-related disputes can more quickly devolve into relationship conflicts.
The most productive distributed teams live in the task conflict range. They do this by aligning their goals and assuming their team members have the best intentions. When they disagree, it is because someone has something to offer that will lead to a better outcome.
The 5 Conflict Modes/Behaviors
There are five conflict modes, and two basic dimensions for describing your choices in a conflict situation: assertiveness or cooperativeness. All modes are viable ways to engage in conflict, and each of us has our own way of engaging in conflict based on the situation. None of the following are right or wrong, but understanding how we (and our teams) approach conflict helps us create an environment where we can foster a healthy approach to using conflict to get better results.
Avoiding: You walk away and don’t deal with it (the most unassertive and uncooperative)
Competing: You pursue your needs without considering anyone else's (the most assertive and most uncooperative)
Compromising: Both sides let go of some of the needs to find common ground (mix of assertiveness and cooperativeness)
Accommodating: You put aside your needs to satisfy other people (unassertive and cooperative)
Collaborating: Requires both people to meet ALL needs (both assertive and cooperative)
Also, the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is a great assessment to get a clear read on your behaviors. Once you know your personal preferences, you can develop the skills of other modes that don’t come naturally, enabling you to adapt to be more effective when a situation calls for a mode that is not your natural preference.
And, the mode you’d normally lead with might be different in this Covid-19 era and the distributed environment we are living in.
4 Best Practices to Encourage Constructive Conflict in the Workplace
Create a safe environment where people can be vulnerable and comfortable disagreeing in the moment (to avoid escalation). This could be through weekly Zoom meetings where you discuss issues that are more personal and less work related, or in a Slack channel where you can share life updates without judgement.
Build trusting relationships by asking questions and listening to answers to understand the other person’s perspective. Curiosity is one of the most important skills leaders can cultivate in a distributed workplace to help foster empathy and improve performance.
Do everything possible to ensure your team has the information needed. When people aren’t given all the information or things are withheld, they are more likely to take it personally, fill in the blanks themselves, and narrate a story that is negative. Don’t let this happen. Overcommunicate. In a remote work environment, it’s better to overshare than undershare.
Remind the team that they are all human and while most of us try our best, we all make mistakes. We build trust by assuming the best of intentions, but if intentions aren’t enough and conflict creeps into destructive territory, encourage timely offline discussions so people can talk it out.
When we recognize the benefits to conflict and provide an environment where healthy conflict can flourish, we increase psychological safety, performance and overall team happiness. With all the uncertainty that exists outside the virtual walls of work, it’s the least we can do for our people.
The above article was developed based on content presented during an Ignite by sr4 community experience, “Healthy Conflict for a Distributed Workplace” with expert coach Kate Jones. You can watch a recording of the session here.
Ignite by sr4 is a diverse and dynamic leadership community for early to mid-level leaders. Through weekly training experiences, we cultivate the character and competence to lead in a changing world. See upcoming experiences here. If you’d like additional support or learning more about the Ignite community for your rising leaders, we’d love to chat with you and get a feel for your organization’s unique goals, challenges, and needs. Get in touch with us here.